Mama Hole

***

speech is shame
mouth of shame
you are my mother
in the hole you gave birth to me
mama
hole
is deep
I wear you like a maxi skirt
weighed down with lead at the hem
you tucked my feet under
sewed it neatly into the seam
for extra gravity
that is why I hold my breath
speechless
hoping to gravitate like a hot air balloon
to lift the lids off all the mute graves and take them up into the sky
paper
mommy
airplane
over the sea
wet silence
blue silence
word washing
deep blue washing
up the shore
into the sand
mama
hole
over my waist
tuck tugging me
right below my belt line
high enough to hold my breath
but not low enough to speak
unless I speak for those below
my belly button of graves
I am your guardian
I have been born to mourn you
but my mouth of shame
is shut
I keep your voices to myself
I hear them
stomped under my feet
leather
mother
holster
loaded with words
aiming down the
hole
mama
I’d rather fly than speak
but my socks have holes